That awkward moment....

When you're going through old family photo albums and see someone who makes you think "Phwor! Who is that?!" and then realise it's your own father in the 70's.

:(

My phone was stolen so I can't post any pictures to this blog of the shit I am using to fill the void I have in my life.

This makes me a saaaad panda

Re-Ment Hello Kitty Sushi Playset

There are so many things in this set that are just amazing and leave me all agog. I think however my favourite thing is the little kitty soy sauce pot and the little kitty dipping dish, I'd just love the have the real versions.

Shit from Japan

I did a review (well, kind of)

This is the book I reviewed but Amazon will probably take it down (and ban me, oh noes!) so here it is in blog format, for prosperity and shits and giggles:

5.0 out of 5 stars Fun Girl! Infectious!, 27 May 2011

By 

Neil -This review is from: If the Shoe Fits: The Story of a Real Life Cinderella (Paperback)

Emma's story is a harrowing tale of a disabled girl's quest for independence. Born in 1932 in Loughton into a long and prestigious line of Uzbek gypsies. Emma suffered a terrible malformation known as hoof and hand disease, in which she was born with the hooves of a goat and the hands of June Brown. Growing up with this disability wasn't easy as Fletcher recounts how even as early as Nursery age the other children would refer to her as the beast of Mendes, twinkle toes and "What's that smell?".

Eventually her parents sold her on to the prestigious East 15 school of dramatics where although the backbreaking labour she was forced to endure worsened her health it also strengthened her spirit. In-between shovelling the burning hot magma the ballet dancers required for loosening their muscles Emma would peer through the slats of the furnace or out of the primitive spy holes she would naw out of the wall and watch, secretly learning both acting and human speech.

Then one fateful day Emma spotted they'd left both the furnace and basement doors unlocked and she made a run for it - I particularly liked the beautiful reference she made to her hooves clapping against the cobble stones as she made her escape. For several seconds Emma wandered down the street until she happened upon a rich albino Arab sheik. It was love at first sight, a whirlwind romance. After the birth of her first 12 kids her husband's family honoured Emma with synthetic human feet stolen from the props department of the film Kinky Boots.

This gave her the confidence to pursue her career in acting. A career that has seen her in such lofty roles as girl with a dippy tummy, murdered prostitute corpse and her most pivitol role yet as foam telephone in the 118 118 advert.

BRB Been Rapture'd

Ponce

A little stack of Quentin Crisp books by my side, flicking through a book about kimonos, wearing a purfume based on Myra Hindley called "picnic on the moors", and a pink glittery satanic amulet hangs around my neck.